Dear Devora,

I feel like I am living a double life. Some of my friends see me as the ultimate party-er and others only see my studious side. Do you think it is mis-leading to behave only one way with some friends and another way with others?

- Jill, Plan 2, 2011

Dear Jill,

This is such a great questions and one that many people deal with throughout their lives. Up until around age 5 we are able to skip along through life just being exactly who we are with no conscious thought as to how we are portraying ourselves. Soon after that we start to get deeper messages from family and society about what is or is not acceptable and we may start suppressing or expressing certain parts of ourselves.

The holiday of Purim gives us a chance to really reflect on this. Purim’s theme of hidden identity is most apparent in the creative and outrageous costumes worn during its celebration. In Megillat Esther, Esther hides her Juewish identity from King Ahasuerus (the name Esther comes from the Hebrew word ‘haster,’ meaning ‘to hide’), and just as God is masked in the Book of Esther that we read on Purim (God’s name is never mentioned!), we too mask our true selves for an evening of celebrating and partying. Jewish communities often organize lavish and festive carnivals during Purim. These carnivals provide opportunities for people to come together, show off their costumes, and participate in the merriment of the holiday.

What are the benefits of concealing our identity? What does it mean to hide behind a mask and give others a false perception of who we are? Although on Purim we literally cover our faces, are there situations in your everyday life— at school or work, in relationships with friends or loved ones—where you also mask your true self? Purim is a time when we can reflect upon who we are on the inside and outside, and make sure that while we may be slightly inverted on this holiday, we are as sincere and genuine as possible in our own lives.

The key is to do exactly what you are doing – inquire into the question of whether or not you are being true to yourself – whatever circumstances you are in or with whomever you are around.

Form more on this topic and Purim, please visit http://jrp.com/files/Purim%20Notes%202007%20Final%20Draft%20for%20PDF.pdf

Also, please join on us Sunday February 21, 2010 for our Jewish Arts Alliance gallery open house from 1 -3 at Texas Hillel to explore through art the theme of Masks and Identity.

Exodus 30:11 – 34:35

The Lord spoke to Moses, saying: When you take a census of the Israelite people according to their enrollment, each shall pay the Lord a ransom for himself on being enrolled, that no plague may come upon them through their being enrolled. This is what everyone who is entered in the records shall pay: a half-shekel by the sanctuary weight — twenty gerahs to the shekel — a half-shekel as an offering to the Lord. Everyone who is entered in the records, from the age of twenty years up, shall give the Lord’s offering: the rich shall not pay more and the poor shall not pay less than half a shekel when giving the Lord’s offering as expiation for your persons. You shall take the expiation money from the Israelites and assign it to the service of the Tent of Meeting; it shall serve the Israelites as a reminder before the Lord, as expiation for your persons.

These verses will be read around the world this weekend for Shabbat Shekalim, the Sabbath preceding the beginning of the month of Adar. Adar is a month of joy of celebration that includes the festival of Purim.

The central message of these verses for Shabbat Shekalim is simple – every member of the community bears equal responsibility for the building of the tabernacle.  Rabbi Samson Raphael Hirsch commented on this text that the mission of Israel is dependent on the unity of the whole.   We are whole as a people when we see ourselves as personally responsible, not relying on others to do what needs to be done.

Every generation of Jews has been building community – tabernacles at which we can worship and to which we can flock for celebration – by making personal investments in the well-being of the whole.  How much better the whole world would be if every person did his or her part!   Small acts of kindness and generosity can make all the difference, and the instruction in the verses for this Shabbat are clear:  do what you must not because it is convenient or makes you feel good, but because the world depends on you.

Sometimes I feel kind of lost in the crowd at UT – like no one would notice whether I am there or not. Any suggestions? – Amy, class of 2013

Hi Amy and all our readers,

You are not alone at all when it comes to feeling like this and I am so glad you brought it up.

This last Shabbat I was reading along with the Torah portion for the week and it was called Vaeira and is all about the plagues of Egypt. Heavy stuff. .But underneath all of that was this really great practical guide for living consciously and creating meaningful partnerships and community. Something that Hillel is really striving toward. The word Vaeira comes from the Hebrew word Roeh, to see, and in this case means “To be seen.” In this portion it is speaking of G-d appearing to Moses but can be viewed metaphorically as an opportunity to reflect on what is happening in our lives in the present moment and revealing ourselves authentically to those around us. It is really easy to hide out at a big school like UT but with some faith and some courage, you can speak up, reach out, and initiate friendships and community. In Vaeira Moses elicits the support of his brother Aaron to assist him in forwarding G-ds promise for redemption. We all need support in life to fulfill on our hopes, goals, and dreams. Try to find someone in your life that shares some common purpose and interests and then invite other like-minded people to join you. Turning to others who have assets we do not possess is a sign of strength, not weakness. At Hillel, we have several micro-communities that are forming regularly by people just like you. For wellness-minded folks, check out Hamsa Yoga…entrepreneurs can look into J.O.B.S…foodies should check out J-Snack….creative artists get involved with the Jewish Arts Alliance. There are so many opportunities to be Seen (known, appreciated, etc.). Do not get caught up in the plague of loneliness, disconnect, and doubt. Judaism is a tradition of taking action. Contact me today to talk more about how you can find meaningful connection and experiences.

Devora Brustin
Senior Jewish Educator
dbrustin@texashillel.org

I am a Jew because, born of Israel and having lost her, I have felt her live again in me, more living than myself.

I am a Jew because, born of Israel and having regained her, I wish her to live after me, more living than in myself.

I am a Jew because the faith of Israel demands of me no abdication of the mind.

I am a Jew because the faith of Israel requires of me all the devotion of my heart.

I am a Jew because in every place where suffering weeps, the Jew weeps.

I am a Jew because at every time when despair cries out, the Jew hopes.

I am a Jew because the word of Israel is the oldest and the newest.

I am a Jew because the promise of Israel is the universal promise.

I am a Jew because, for Israel, the world is not yet completed; men are completing it.

I am a Jew because, above the nations and Israel, Israel places man and his Unity.

I am a Jew because above man, image of the divine Unity, Israel places the divine Unity, and its divinity.

From an essay by Edmond Fleg, 1927

_________________________________________

In late December Devora Brustin and I participated in a day-long partnership meeting with eleven other Hillel directors and educators, hosted by Hillel’s Schusterman International Center.   The primary topic of discussion was Jewish identity and how our work in Hillel can support the positive growth of Jewish living and learning on the college campus.   To begin, we explored our own Jewish identities and how we define them.

The text quoted above is at the core of my own Jewish self.  It speaks to the particularism and universalism, the timelessness and timeliness of Judaism. Written in a pre-Holocaust, pre-State of Israel world, it resonates still today.  It distills nicely the hope and the struggle of the Jewish people.

The critical task of our work in Hillel is to help Jewish students answer, on their own terms, the question “Why be Jewish?”  I share Edmond Fleg’s writing with you because it answers the question in a profound and beautiful way.

The Talmud says that Shammai goes by the days to come and decrease the number, to teach us that we only have limited time in this world. Each day it diminishes and, therefore, we should use the time which is left to the best advantage.

Hillel, however, holds that we should not worry too much about the future but thank Hashem for every day. Use each day for a good purpose as it comes and then add to the previous ones.

Many people make a distinction between miracle and nature. However, the truth is that this is not so. There is NO DIFFERENCE between nature and miracle. In nature we have innumerable miracles, more and more of which are being discovered by scientists every day, but Hashem put a screen – which we call ‘nature’ – over miracles to give us Bechirah – Freedom of choice which is the thrill of life. If we would see the hand of G-d clearly in everything in nature, we would have lost our freedom of choice. We would have lost our freedom choice. We would then be forced to observe the Torah and be like puppets on a string; therefore, G-d hides his hand by means of this screen. However, for those who are more spiritual, G-d removes his curtain so that they can recognize the open miracles. The Gemara tells us a story that in the neighborhood of Rabbi Chanina Ben Dosa, a snake bit a number of people and killed them. When the snake attacked Rabbi Chanina, the snake died. His pupils asked him: “Rabbi, how do you explain this?” The Rabbi answered: “It is not the snake that kills, but the sin that kills.” The Talmud continues in a very charming manner: “Woe to the person who meets this snake and woe to the snake which meets Rabbi Chanina!”

The Gemara narrates another story: Once the daughter of Rabbi Chanina was very upset. Her father asked her why she was so sad. She replied: “I mixed up a jug of vinegar with one of oil and used the vinegar to light the Shabbat candles.” Rabbi Chanina said: “The one who said that oil should burn can also make vinegar burn.” In fact, the vinegar burned very brightly until the conclusion of Shabbat.

Similarly, G-d took away that screen of nature and granted the Macabees open miracles.

Now the argument between Hillel and Shammai becomes very clear. Shammai goes from eight candles to one candle because the longer the miracle lasts, the less it is appreciated, because people get used to it. Hillel, however, is of the opinion that the miracle increases every day. In holy matters we go higher not lower.

That also answers the ancient question why we celebrate the first day of Chanukah, when surely there was enough oil for it. The miracle was that one days oil lasted for eight days.

However, our Rabbis want us to realize the fact that there is no difference between miracle and nature. We are grateful to Hashem for all his innumerable miracles and celebrate all of them (even the first day of Chanukah).

What a wealth of teachings the festival of Chanukah provides us in our times! Today, cold rationalism permeates the Jewish scene. Chaos reigns in the name of “pluralism,” etc. Many of our people have become modern day Hellenists. The battle continues. We few must act to try and bring back the “Devine Presence” just as in the days of old, pure Judaism in all its beauty. We must remember that each day counts. We must try to be optimistic like Hillel – to go higher in holy matters and never go down, to fan the sparks of holiness which every Jew posses into a flame.

This is the perfect question to be asking right around Thanksgiving and believe me, I feel your pain. As it gets cooler and darker, the pull of the warm blankets can be very enticing. Well, wouldn’t you know, once again the Jews have a great antidote for getting our heads in the game each and every day.

WE ARE TOLD: DO NOT EVEN ATTEMPT TO GET OUT OF BED BEFORE SAYING THESE WORDS

Modeh Ani or Modeh (Hebrew: מודה אני‎; “I give thanks,” the first words of the prayer) is a Jewish prayer that observant Jews recite daily upon waking, while still in bed.

Transliteration: Modeh ani lifanecha melech chai v’kayam shehechezarta bi nishmahti b’chemlah, rabah emunatecha.

English translation: I offer thanks before you, living and eternal King, for You have mercifully restored my soul within me; Your faithfulness is great.

Gratitude has such a powerful affect on our psyches.

• I am grateful to wake up today!
• I am grateful for my bed
• I am grateful for my friends

Go crazy with gratitude. In traditional Jewish prayers we offer up a minimum of 100 prayers before we even walk out of the house. Try it… Thank you G!d or I am grateful for:

• My toothbrush
• My jeans
• Electricity
• The tree out my window
• Running water
• The possibilities are endless.

Don’t stop giving gratitude until you walk out the door (or just keep going all day if you would like to). So, on this Thanksgiving, develop a new attitude of gratitude and let me know if your mornings become just a little bit sunnier.

Devora

So realizes Jacob as he awakens from his dream of a ladder from earth to heaven, with angels ascending and descending.   Midrashic writers have understood the ladder as an historical allegory of the Jewish people’s suffering under the rule of tyrants… the empires rise and fall but we remain.   Other interpreters note that the angels go up and down (in that order), meaning that the angels begin on earth and accompany us through important moments in our lives.  Angels and messengers are everywhere around us if we’ll stop and notice.

This week the parasha coincides with Thanksgiving,  a holiday during which we,  like Jacob,  can get a new perspective on life if we stop to remember that no matter where we are,  G-d is in this place.  Thanksgiving is not specifically a religious holiday but it has some of the trappings of a Jewish holiday… particularly the focus on food and family. It is the story of our American culture’s founding on religious freedom and that is a principle that has been very good for America’s Jews.   Here we have been free to practice Judaism as we choose,  to celebrate our traditions openly in our own ways even as we share cultural practices with others.

On Thanksgiving I hope that you will be able to pause amidst the tumult and turkey not only to give thanks,  but also to remember that the special people in your life can be angels on your own ladder.  They can support you when you fall and celebrate with you when you triumph.   G-d is always in this place,  no matter where we might be,  and you need look no farther than those who enrich your life every day.

Happy Thanksgiving!

On a personal note,  I am very proud of my sister and aunt for the culinary gifts that they have given our family over the years.   They are experts in kosher cuisine in Columbus, Ohio and you can find some of their terrific recipes online to make your Thanksgiving delicious!